I'm not a guy who typically wants to help out the Republicans, particularly George Bush. But sometimes an idea comes along that's just too good to keep to yourself, right?
Here's what I'm thinking: There's all these massive rallies planned for today, May 1st, the so-called A Day Without An Immigrant. There are going to be loads of illegal immigrants assembled in one place at the same time, and if the Department of Homeland Security can figure out how this new-fangled Internet thing works they'll know where to find them.
Sure, you could joke around about some cartoonish image of helicopters, each connected to a corner of a huge net, stationed each at a designated spot at Union Square, waiting to drop the net and lift the whole bunch of them off to Gitmo, but I'm actually serious here.
Why shouldn't Homeland send in a shitload of immigration police to just round up the whole bunch? Fine, so I'm sure there are some legal immigrants, maybe even a few actual citizens sprinkled around the joint, but they can whittle them out later on once they get everyone into holding. What's the worst that happens, it takes Homeland a month or two to figure out who has the actual legal right to live in this country? Big deal. If you're at the rally, I can assure you that you're doing something that you shouldn't be doing. And you're not exactly helping our economy remain stable by ditching work/school today, are you?
I'm sure the liberal media will be all up in arms, and Anderson Cooper will be outraged. But rounding up a few hundred thousand illegal immigrants in one shot and shipping them out might actually improve Bush's approval ratings. I figure it's bound to energize the Republican base.
Now, if we can just figure out who will do all those jobs that we don't want once we get this taken care of...
Here's what I'm thinking: There's all these massive rallies planned for today, May 1st, the so-called A Day Without An Immigrant. There are going to be loads of illegal immigrants assembled in one place at the same time, and if the Department of Homeland Security can figure out how this new-fangled Internet thing works they'll know where to find them.
Sure, you could joke around about some cartoonish image of helicopters, each connected to a corner of a huge net, stationed each at a designated spot at Union Square, waiting to drop the net and lift the whole bunch of them off to Gitmo, but I'm actually serious here.
Why shouldn't Homeland send in a shitload of immigration police to just round up the whole bunch? Fine, so I'm sure there are some legal immigrants, maybe even a few actual citizens sprinkled around the joint, but they can whittle them out later on once they get everyone into holding. What's the worst that happens, it takes Homeland a month or two to figure out who has the actual legal right to live in this country? Big deal. If you're at the rally, I can assure you that you're doing something that you shouldn't be doing. And you're not exactly helping our economy remain stable by ditching work/school today, are you?
I'm sure the liberal media will be all up in arms, and Anderson Cooper will be outraged. But rounding up a few hundred thousand illegal immigrants in one shot and shipping them out might actually improve Bush's approval ratings. I figure it's bound to energize the Republican base.
Now, if we can just figure out who will do all those jobs that we don't want once we get this taken care of...
