I turned 31 last week (and threw myself a party at a bar that I learned only 2 days prior was an apparent blogger hangout, which tempted me to change venues), and as such I decided to spend my post-birthday semi-hangover putting down a list I'd been mentally working on for a while (which I liberally lifted from another site, on which I can't find the specific piece I'd wanted to reference). And so...
Things That Every Man Should Own/Do/Know/Comprehend By 31 (I'd have said 30, but I think it's fair to give us all a year to adjust to that big new roundish number to figure shit out; I'm cutting you some slack here, so don't take advantage):
- Not just own a suit, because you should've had that taken care of way earlier, but own 2 or more suits.
- Have a quality writing implement.
- Even it's not your everyday one, possess a fine timekeeping device, i.e. a nice watch. One that doesn't have a band made of rubber being a good start.
- The number of books sitting on your shelves should be greater than the number of Xbox/Playstation/Wii/whatever video games.
- Sure it varies from day to day and is dependent on all sorts of external conditions, but know how much beer, wine or booze you can drink before you get sick. I'm not telling you to stop before the sickness hits, I'm just offering the suggestion that maybe you shouldn't be caught offguard by it anymore.
- On that line, know a good "business drink" that you can order so as to not look like a moron in front of serious people. The sort of drink that if you're at a thing, and a real, live adult hears you order it will prompt them to be impressed. Sure, maybe they're more impressed that you're not ordering a Fuzzy Navel, but maybe, just maybe, they're impressed that a young-ish person such as yourself can handle a real cocktail.
- Be able to sit through a foreign subtitled film.
- Own a corkscrew that isn't of the $5 "I grabbed it at some store in a rush" variety. I'm quite partial to the one I have
.
- Vacation in Europe. It's "where the history comes from
- To that end, have yourself some decent luggage. Maybe even a luggage set, if you're feeling particularly bold.
- Have knowledge of current events that goes beyond what the score of Monday Night Football was.
- Vote. Seriously, you have no idea the number of excuses I get from people, and none of them is valid. Short of "I was hit by a bus the day before Election Day, and am in a full body cast" I can't think of many others. And no, being out of town isn't legit. It's called an absentee ballot.
- Learn to dust, scrub, vacuum, polish or whatever else you need to do to keep your place clean. If you can't manage that, drop $50 on a cleaning lady. (I'm wholly ignorant on that one, is that what it costs? For all I know it's $150 in NYC.)
- Be able to hold a conversation at a party that doesn't consist entirely around sports, your fantasy teams or the real ones.
- Call your mother.
- Read A People's History of the United States: 1492 to Present
- Have at least two bottles of quality booze, of different varities, in your apartment.
- Have the ability to go see a great band on a weeknight, stay out until 1 or 2am, and go into work the next morning. Trust me, this one will shock and amaze friends, family, and co-workers alike.
- Go out for way-too-expensive cocktails every now and then.
- Don't need to buy the cheapest tickets to a sporting event, be able to buy something mid-level. I'm not saying to necessarily buy the more expensive tickets, because there are few things I like better than a ticket that's cheaper than a beer, but it's good to know you don't need to scrimp on the seats.
- FInally, and this one is my favorite, find a couple of things that you used to do, that once made you happy, and do them again.
So... Comprehensive, informative, blah blah blah. I won't say how many off of this list of 21 I do myself, but I will say I sure as fuck don't comply with all of them. This much I will fess up to: I fully adhere to #'s 1-4, sometimes follow #14, and blatantly ignore #13.
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